So lately, in-between work and trying to get myself a new job (I am now a grateful employee at the local Hampton Inn!), I've been entangled in more than a little good (debatable), old-fashioned high school relationship drama. While my friends-with-benefits mess has been put to bed, so to speak, a new problem has been sprung upon me recently.
I won't go into details, but I tried and failed to be a therapist for my lovelorn friend. For a while, she heeded my advice, but love won out in the end. (I never thought I'd say that in such resigned disappointment.) I'll admit that I threw in the towel; I can only take arguing with a brick wall for so long, and being put on the spot for false allegations left a bad taste in my mouth.
Regardless of the turn of events in these one-sided relationships, I think I've learned quite a bit from the recent turn of events... in all of my relationships! While my personal experience with romance has been next to none, I'd like to think I've learned a great deal. And so I bring you some harebrained advice, scratched onto some gnarly-looking paper in the middle of the night. Just please, please take this with a grain of salt!
I AM NOT A LICENSED SHRINK! I'm just a girl looking to put an end to all of this nonsense, haha.
SELF-ASSESSMENT WHEN IN A RELATIONSHIP GOING DOWNHILL
• Open your eyes! What do I get out of this relationship? What do I contribute?
• A classic pros/cons question: What do I like and dislike about this relationship?
- Airing out the dirty laundry: How can the negative aspects be dealt with? Are the problems ones that can be discussed and resolved?
- Are the cons really as big of a deal as you make them out to be, or are you just nitpicking for the sake of nitpicking?
- Skewed and screwed: Is my perception blurred because I'm a perfectionist? Am I just looking for problems?
• Look to the future! Where is this relationship going? Where do I want it to go? Where do(es) she/he/they want it to go?
• Is it worth the headache and heartache: Do I really want to salvage this relationship? Why?
* Remember: communication is key! While it might be an uncomfortable and touchy subject to breach,it's best to get your issues resolved and your priorities straight early on in a relationship. Talking things out when the issues are fresh nip the problems in the bud and can only bolster the integrity of any good relationship.